UnMarioWiki:Other Stuff/Mario's Adventure 12/Game
Dr. Robotnik is sitting in a massive library, poring through a pile of books. DR. ROBOTNIK: Argh...I can't find it! I.M. Meen used to own this library, and he was decently evil. He should have some information on how to defeat Chuck Norris! Dr. Robotnik storms to the other side of the library, angrily rifling through even more books and mumbling to himself. DR. ROBOTNIK: Those unbearable Undefeatables could have just finished me off, but they decided to leave me in front of that turret to respawn infinitely! Well, I'll show them! Dr. Robotnik shuffles through shelves upon shelves of books. On the farthest shelves, each book is smaller in size than the last. DR. ROBOTNIK: Why, if they hadn't accounted for the turret's recoil as it shot me every time I respawned, it wouldn't have fallen over and I wouldn't have escaped! Finally, Dr. Robotnik finds the smallest book, at the very back of the library: The Official Hand Book to Chuck Norris. DR. ROBOTNIK: Wait...perfect! That's what I've been looking for! Dr. Robotnik grabs the book and leafs through it with a maniacal cackle. DR. ROBOTNIK: Muahahahaaaaa! Soon, all my troubles will be over! Just then, Panty Anarchy, strangely with Trevor Phillips' clothing and hair, approached Dr. Robotnik. PANTY ANARCHY: Stop right there! Dr. Robotnik quickly snaps the book shut and stuffs it in his pocket. DR. ROBOTNIK: What?! Who are you? What do you want? PANTY: I'm Panty Stocking. I've survived the assassination carried out by my ███████ sister Stocking Anarchy the whole time. Now, I'm here to kill you. DR. ROBOTNIK: Oh, you're the sister of that pesky angel. Well, I was going to call in my troops, but I might as well add a touch of irony to the mix! Dr. Robotnik scrambles for one of the library's computers and clicks a series of links. DR. ROBOTNIK: Ah, excellent. Secret Agent Service: One-Click Order. Rolls right off the tongue. Dr. Robotnik makes a final, dramatic click and hides under the table. DR. ROBOTNIK: I knew I'd find him through the site. Oh, when he figures out who his target is... PANTY: You won't get away with this. Panty pulled out an "A" gauge punt gun. However, this also revealed that she wan't Panty, but rather the T-2504 disguised as Panty, but now with newly-malfunctioning transformation powers. PANTY: Come out! Suddenly, the roof above the T-2504 cracks and a black, spheroid silhouette crashes through it. The silhouette falls on top of the T-2504, knocks the gun out of his hand, and holds up a miniature EMP device in his hand. EVIL GUY: Halt, rogue robot! I am Evil Guy, and you...oh. DR. ROBOTNIK: Ha ha haaaaaa! Yes! This ''is the evil robot that I hired you to bring in! EVIL GUY: ...What? T-2504: What?! No no no! Dr. Robotnik is evil, not me! EVIL GUY: T...this is, quite literally, my first client since our last adventure--since I got this job! My dad thinks I've been wasting my time, so he cut my tower funds. Now, I'm basically broke. And Robotnik paid top dollar for this job, too! T-2504: Please. I swear! Don't kill me! EVIL GUY: Well...there is one way... DR. ROBOTNIK: Hah?! EVIL GUY: Your bounty is immense. In fact, I haven't told exactly how much I'll be getting, which either means it's astronomically high or pathetically low. Since you're an Undefeatable, I'd guess it's the former. However, I do know of someone with an even greater bounty on his head, and he's hiding ''right behind that table! DR. ROBOTNIK: Ahhhh! Nooooo! Wait...who would want to issue a bounty on little old me? EVIL GUY: Everyone, Dr. Robotnik. Everyone ever. DR. ROBOTNIK: Oh, but here's the catch! You can't switch targets in the middle of a mission without talking to the person who issued it! EVIL GUY: (Gasping) He's right! T, what do we do? T-2504: I don't know! I can't risk watching you lose your job. And I don't want to die either! DR. ROBOTNIK: Yes, yes! Now, while I have you two caught in a no-win situation, I'll finally figure out how to defeat Chuck Norris! EVIL GUY: Chuck Norris? But he's an Undefeatable! (Looking at T-2504) Wait...you're an Undefeatable, too. Why would you be afraid of me killing you? Come to think of it, why would I agree to something like this? DR. ROBOTNIK: Because the legend is a lie! The Upper Counsel of Undefeatables is a pile of old farts, and the Lower Counsel is a joke! EVIL GUY: Don't you dare say that. The Undefeatables rule over the UnMultiverse, and that is an absolute fact! DR. ROBOTNIK: Is it? What about the time Super Sonic and Super Shadow killed the supposedly "Undefeatable" Godzilla while he was in my space station? Or the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny? Not to mention your clone, T-2504, that was killed by the Volde-Tron 5000! T-2504: Ugh... Why do I even bother. All I wanted to do is to find a copy of an English translation of In Search of Lost Time, not get trapped in a situation like this! EVIL GUY: In search of what now? DR. ROBOTNIK: Oh, that should be in here, but it's in the form of a seven-volume compilation. Here, why don't you go look it up on that computer over there? T-2504: Come on, it's like the thing I always wanted to read. DR. ROBOTNIK: And speaking of reading, I've got some to do right now! Dr. Robotnik pulls out the Official Handbook to Chuck Norris and scans each page. Meanwhile, Evil Guy pulls out a walkie-talkie. EVIL GUY: HQ, this is Agent Knievel. Requesting bounty transfer. Over. There is no response. EVIL GUY: No luck. I don't think there's good reception in this giant building. I need to get outside. DR. ROBOTNIK: Take one step and I'll leave you a one-star review. You know that could get you fired. EVIL GUY: Damn it! Foiled by a technicality yet again! DR. ROBOTNIK: (Reading) Hmm..."Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together." No, that's not helpful. T-2504: ENOUGH! The T-2504 transforms into Ash Williams, but ultimately ends up as Ash Williams in Princess Peach's dress and hair. T-2504: Prepare to d-(Looks down) GAH! That's not what Ash Williams looked like! EVIL GUY: Um...T, what's going on with your transformation? T-2504: I'm beginning to slowly age... Now there's this glitch with my transformation powers! DR. ROBOTNIK: Ha! You see? Even these supposed "immortals" age! Undefeatables are a lie! T-2504: But still, I'm going to kick your sorry ███. The T-2504 transforms into Satsuki, but ends up as her with Adam Jensen's clothing, hair and prosthetics. She looks down and shrugs, realizing she can still look good. The machine picks up the punt gun. DR. ROBOTNIK: If you shoot me, Evil Guy won't get his money. And he can't ask for a re-assignment while he's in this building, either! Dr. Robotnik continues flipping through The Official Handbook to Chuck Norris. DR. ROBOTNIK: A-ha! Chuck actually died 20 years ago, but Death hasn't had the courage to tell him! Wait...I remember reading that the T-5001 killed the physical manifestation of Death somehow. That doesn't help me, either. The T-2504 throws the punt gun onto the floor. T-2504: You going to stop reading it or not?! ANSWER ME! DR. ROBOTNIK: Aha! "The only way to defeat Chuck Norris is to..." Evil Guy turns towards Dr. Robotnik and freezes, awestruck. DR. ROBOTNIK: ...What?! It's written in some kind of code! I can't read it! Following Dr. Robotnik's disappointment over the unreadable text, the T-2504 bursts into laughter. Meanwhile, Evil Guy twirls one of his eyelashes like a radio dial. DR. ROBOTNIK: Fine. I'll take it back to my fortress and analyze it. Maybe then I can crack this code. Dr. Robotnik waddles hastily towards the main entrance, book in hand. Evil Guy focuses on the book intently, scanning the open page, and blinks once. The T-2504, upon seeing Dr. Robotnik go, stops laughing and begins to become furious. T-2504: Hey! GET BACK HERE! The T-2504 begins to chase after Dr. Robotnik. EVIL GUY: Let him go. I'll be able to freely step outside and re-assign myself to a new target. Besides, I got a new contact lens camera, and I captured that "secret code" in Robitnik's book. Evil Guy pulls out a contact lens and hands it to the T-2504. EVIL GUY: See if you can analyze this and crack the code. Cryptography isn't my strong suit. T-2504: Hmm... Let's see... The T-2504 uses them to investigate the code. It reads "The only way to defeat Chuck Norris is to eteled sih egap." T-2504: Huh. Let me mirror my vision. The T-2504 mirrors his vision. EVIL GUY: Well, what does it say? The T-2504 gasps. T-2504: (Whispering to Evil Guy) Delete his page..... EVIL GUY: You mean his UnAnything Wiki page?! But only an admin can do that! None of us have that kind of privilege! T-2504: (Still whispering) Yes, but soon, Dr. Robotnik will have that privilege through hacking, or other means! EVIL GUY: Then let's go stop him. I'm re-assigning targets right now. Evil Guy dashes outside and requests a change in targets via his walkie-talkie. EVIL GUY: All right, I'll be done in the drop of a hat. Over. (To T-2504) That was really easy! Everybody and their mother wants Robotnik dead. Let's go get him! The T-2504 teleports next to Evil Guy. T-2504: Yeah! Evil Guy and the T-2504 teleport in front of Dr. Robotnik's base. EVIL GUY: Ah, good. It's nice to see this old dump again. T, should I prepare an infiltration strategy or would you prefer to bust in, arm-cannons blazing? T-2504: Infiltration. The T-2504 transforms into Loki, but ends up as Loki disguised as Black Widow. T-2504: This good enough? EVIL GUY: Sure. You can go through the front, here. I'll take the window up top. Evil Guy uses his suction gloves to scale the wall of Dr. Robotnik's fortress. T-2504: Alright. Evil Guy crawls up to the topmost window and sees a massive computer, intertwined with wires, showing the words "hacking mainframe" across the screen along with a garbled version of the main UnAnything Wiki page. EVIL GUY: T, you better hurry! I think Robotnik's already started hacking the UnAnything Wiki! T-2504: Uh-oh. The T-2504 knocks on the door, hoping for an answer. DR. ROBOTNIK: Now who could that be? Dr. Robotnik leaves the computer running and goes downstairs. Just then, Evil Guy uses his suction gloves to remove the window's glass and crawls in. EVIL GUY: Now, let's just hope the T-2504 can hold Robotnik off long enough for me to figure this out... T-2504: It's me! Loki disguised as Black Widow! Dr. Robotnik opens the door and stares, open-mouthed. DR. ROBOTNIK: I...ah...what do you want? T-2504: I... I need to stay inside... I've been fed up with those annoying super-dummies. And I've had enough of that huge green thing beating me up! DR. ROBOTNIK: I've heard tell of your evil deeds. It would be an honor. By all means, come in! Meanwhile, Evil Guy has disconnected all the wires from the computer, but to no avail. EVIL GUY: Why is this thing still on...? Suddenly, the computer screen glows red and opens up like a gate, sucking Evil Guy in and plopping him into a conveyor belt. EVIL GUY: What...? Oh, I should have known this would be a trap! (Thinking) T, if your telepathy is working, the computer was a trap! I'm behind it, on a conveyor belt or something! "Loki" goes inside the building. "LOKI": Thank you. Anyways, for now, I've been turned into a laughingstock. What are you doing? DR. ROBOTNIK: I'll show you! I'm hacking into the UnAnything Wiki. Dr. Robotnik leads "Loki" upstairs, to the computer room. Meanwhile, Evil Guy see some sort of mashing or compacting device up ahead. EVIL GUY: Oh, that doesn't look good... Evil Guy tries to run along the conveyor belt and return to its beginning, but quickly gets winded and has to sit down. EVIL GUY: I'll...never...make it... "Loki" ses the computer, yet it still has unattached wires. "LOKI": Ahh, interesting. DR. ROBOTNIK: Hmm, the screen is red. This can only mean one thing. Dr. Robotnik waddles towards the computer screen, barely hiding a smirk. DR. ROBOTNIK: You know, Loki, I was wondering if you could come a bit closer and use your...magic or something...to fix it up. Would you be so kind? "LOKI": Umm... Okay, I guess. Meanwhile, on the other side, Evil Guy suddenly remembers his EMP device and brandishes it like a dagger. EVIL GUY: Ha! I can't believe I didn't think of this before! I'm safe! Evil Guy presses the button on the EMP, halting all the machinery and destroying the "computer" that served as his trap. EVIL GUY: All right, time to rush Robotnik. LEEROY JENKINS! "LOKI": Huh? What's going on? The cracked remains of the computer screen shatter completely as Evil Guy leaps through them. He clings to the back of the astonished Dr. Robotnik, knocking him to the floor. "Loki" reacts with horror. "LOKI": Hang on! Let me try to find my sceptre! "Loki" pulls out his sceptre and scratches his forehead, not knowing what to hit. DR. ROBOTNIK: Hit him, you idiot! He's going to kill me! "LOKI": Umm... Okay. "Loki" proceeds to beat up Dr.Robotnik with it, thinking he was beating up Evil Guy. DR. ROBOTNIK: Ow! Stop it! You idiot! Dr. Robotnik summons all his strength and gives himself a Promotion. DR. ROBOTNIK: PROMOTION! Dr. Robotnik repeats this action over and over as the word "Promotion" echoes through the room. It then begins to sound like the phrase "Super Promotion" as Dr. Robotnik begins to glow. DR. ROBOTNIK: Muahahaaaa! For the first time, I have manually activated the form of...Super Robotnik! Super Robotnik floats out of Evil Guy's grasp, laughing. "Loki" gulps. "LOKI": (Thinking) Uh-oh. This is not going to go well. What should I do?! What should I do?! Ugh! EVIL GUY: T, let's get serious here! We have to stop him! T-2504: Alright! The T-2504 transforms into Ryuko Matoi, but ultimately ends up as 90's Jim Carrey cosplaying as Ryuko. T-2504: Are you serious?! (Thinking) I'd better get this fixed soon, but oh well. The T-2504 transforms his arms into super ion cannons and blasts them at Super Robotnik. SUPER ROBOTNIK: You underestimate my power! Super Robotnik laughs off the ion cannon blasts, barging into the T-2504 at top speed. SUPER ROBOTNIK: I have the strength to kill any Undefeatable on the Lower Counsel--and most of the ones on the Upper Counsel, too! EVIL GUY: Interesting! What other powers do you have? SUPER ROBOTNIK: Simple! I can win a staring contest against Weegee, do a barrel roll, give everybody a Promotion... EVIL GUY: No way! Prove it. Super Robotnik, scoffing, glares at the T-2504 and Evil Guy, does a barrel roll, and gives them both Promotions. Their abilities increase tenfold. The T-2504 sees this as a powerup of himself, so he shrugs. EVIL GUY: All right! Let's get him! SUPER ROBOTNIK: Oh no! What have I done? Evil Guy leaps at Super Robotnik with a super-powered jump, bowling him over. T-2504: Correction: You underestimate OUR power. The T-2504 dashes at Super Robotnik and grabs him, so he immediately throws him into the ground. SUPER ROBOTNIK: Argh! EVIL GUY: T, finish him! Evil Guy leaps on top of Super Robotnik and pins him down with his suction gloves. T-2504: Come get some. The T-2504 starts repeatedly roundhouse kicking Super Robotnik. SUPER ROBOTNIK: Ow! Argh! I didn't expect you to be so strong! Super Robotnik downgrades back into Dr. Robotnik. EVIL GUY: Wow! You knocked the "super" out of him! T-2504: Exactly. I love being a lower counsel-Undefeatable. DR. ROBOTNIK: This is impossible! I packed enough punch to defeat any Undefeatable short of Chuck Norris! EVIL GUY: Well, you shouldn't have given us those Promotions. Evil Guy Butt Pounds Dr. Robotnik, knocking him unconcscious. EVIL GUY: (Into walkie-talkie) This is Agent Knievel. Target has been neutralized. Over. A small "cha-ching" sound is heard from Evil Guy's pocket. EVIL GUY: Great. They've seen everything through my video contact lens and transferred the reward to my bank account through my phone. Now, what should we do with him? T-2504: I guess we could put him in a newly-opened jail that I funded. There is one of the knockoffs of me made by those Straw Hat Pirates, that I managed to reprogramed to not act malevolent, hired as one of the cell guards. The clone's basically a Sarah Connor version of me. EVIL GUY: Great! You can toss him in there and I'll compromise the fortress. Evil Guy fires up his EMP and hooks it up to the broken computer. A power surge decimates all the technology in the building. EVIL GUY: My work here is done. Evil Guy leaps out the window and slides down the wall. T-2504: Good. The T-2504 grabs Dr. Robotnik's body and teleports to said perison. He throws the body into an open empty cell with the SC-2503 guarding it with her AA-12. He then uses his telekinesis to close the cell door. The T-2504 notices the SC-2503. T-2504: Oh. Hey there. The SC-2503 gives the T-2504 a polite nod and scrutinizes Dr. Robotnik, who is sitting in his cell, defeated. T-2504: So... About the Straw Hat Pirates. Suddenly, Evil Guy enters the jail. EVIL GUY: Did someone say "Straw Hat Pirates"? T-2504: Huh? EVIL GUY: They starred in Stupid Mario Galaxy, one of my favorite shames! Wait...have you actually met them in person? T-2504: Yes I have. They cloned me as several different forms, including this one over here. Most were focused on destruction, while this one over here protects the cell cage thanks to reprogramming her. EVIL GUY: Wow, that's awesome! (To SC-2503) It's nice to meet you. Evil Guy reaches for a handshake, but the SC-2503 turns both her hands into cannons and points them at Dr. Robotnik, who is still sitting dejectedly in his cell. Now, he has a spoon in his hand. DR. ROBOTNIK: I'm not going to tunnel out. I was just eating. SC-2503: Don't lie. DR. ROBOTNIK: Fine, I wanted to escape, but it's hopeless. EVIL GUY: Well, you look like you have everything under control here. I'm leaving. The end.